Weeding Your Tags

I’ve been doing more editing than writing lately, and I’ve noticed plantations of excess dialogue tags. Today I examined one of my own chapters, and though I may not have discovered a speech-tag plantation, there was a pretty green farm.

The idea of pruning my novel yet another time makes me wince and come suddenly aware of aches and pains in my every joint. But, I’m going to search only for needless tags on this run, so I’ll just grab the Bengay and get to work. (At least it’s my intent to focus only on these irritating dialogue labels, though I’m sure to find other pesky problems.)

To make it easier, I looked for a motivator, and though I desperately pray I do not have even two excess tags per page, I’ve calculated something that can get me moving. My novel is not 300 pages long, but for example’s sake, I’ll pretend it is. With two dialogue attributions deleted from each of 300 pages, that would kill 600 tags. Also, I’ll consider each to be at least two words. That would mean an elimination of 1,200 words.

Now that’s something to tag about.

A lot of speech attributions aren’t necessary. If a line of dialogue ending in a tag is followed by the speaking character doing something, no matter how trivial, readers will know who’s talking as soon as the name is mentioned. There’s no reason to tag then. I have found that by purposely squeezing out a number of speech tags, I’ve had to reword the sentences following dialogue. The rephrasing has often resulted in the prose becoming more active and much more concise. That’s a double whammy in one shot–no speech tag and a clearer meaning.

That, too, is worth tagging about.

 Please let me know if you have any great ideas on getting rid of these jarring weeds.

Good reads for young adults—book review on HEART ON MY SLEEVE by Ellen Wittlinger

An Oldie but goodie, which means it’s definitely worth taking off the shelf for a second or third read.

At first glance at the text of HEART ON MY SLEEVE by Ellen Wittlinger, published by Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers, 2004, I doubted I’d get through the entire novel. It’s written in the format of emails, instant messages, and letters. I roll my eyes often enough just looking at my own inbox and sigh many times before I tackle answering the eons of mail any one day can bring. (Not that I don’t like chatting, but I guess it’s one of those “all things in moderation” things.)

I’m glad I started reading this gem. After the first page, I couldn’t quit. Wittlinger artistically travels through the hearts of teenagers enduring long-distance relationships, the angst of jealousies and break-ups, and the hopes and dreams shared by all young girls during the crucial time of self-discovery, not only in discovering who they are at the moment, but in discovering who they truly want to become.

From the sometimes selfish inner thoughts of a teenager, and the often snarky wit, to the admission of mistakes, readers will live through the lives of youngsters embraced in a tight circle, despite the miles between them.

It’s near impossible not to laugh with Chloe and her friends, and feel their joys and pains. The teen language never falters, nor does the heart in this book. Read it with a box of tissues by your side.

Analyzing Picture Books—GOOD LUCK BABY OWLS

GOOD LUCK BABY OWLS by Giles (writer) and Alexandra (illustrator) Milton, published by Boxer Books, 2012, is spread over 25 pages, 17 with third-person text (and illus.) and nine with pictures only. There are approximately 240 words, with a handful of them hyphenated. The first two pages are narration, setting up the scene. The remaining pages of text are composed of dialogue, except for three. So, nearly two-thirds of the text is dialogue.

Picture books cannot afford to waste a single word, and the words should not do the work that will be revealed in the illustrations. In other words, you must separate words and pictures in your mind, and write only what can’t be shown in the illustrations. Thoughts, sounds, and dialogue won’t work as pictures and therefore make up most of the picture book text.

This story is about two baby owls in a hurry to grow up, wanting to learn to fly, and a patient daddy guiding them along the journey.

The story opens with a strong sense of setting: a chilly winter, silent night. In addition to telling us about the “frost-coated silence,” the author reemphasizes the stillness by stating that all is “quiet,” in the “big dark barn,” and then surprises us with a squeakity-squeak. Children always enjoy funny or interesting noises when someone reads aloud to them. That, coupled with a good dose of dialogue, is a good recipe for a picture book. But that’s not all a new writer needs.

After the opening, the author delivers many exchanges of dialogue to set up the characters (two baby owls – the source of the squeaks – and their daddy), and the problem (baby owls want to fly right now). Through the lively  voices, we can hear the earnest longing of the baby owls and Daddy’s loving patience.

How else does Giles Milton bring this story to life?

He uses a simple plot structure: (1) Baby owls want to learn to fly (2) Daddy tells them they have to wait until they are stronger (3) They eventually succeed in their goal.

While revealing the story problem, the author leads us to bond with the characters by using specific voices of the baby owls begging, saying please, and trying to convince Dad that they are ready. Hearing a child beg is something all children can relate to, because they’ve done it, and that all adults will smile about (or shake their heads) because it is so familiar. In this way, the author establishes a universal familiarity, and realistic family dynamics.

At this point, the reader and listener(s) are anxious to see if or when Daddy will let his feathered little babies fly. Unlike in stories for older children, where the child must figure out a solution on his or her own, this picture book allows for Daddy giving advice. He tells the baby owls that they must wait until they are stronger, and then they can fly.

Now the baby owls have a goal, something to work toward. With carefully selected words – “after days and days and weeks and weeks” – the author shows time passing. During this period, the baby owls are determinedly working toward their goal. They are eating, stretching, and flapping their wings, a great form of exercise for baby owls, I imagine. This time of planning and exercising to grow stronger is the journey of the story.

So we see the baby owls taking Daddy’s advice and put their own effort into achieving their goal. Then the time the baby owls have been working toward comes. Daddy announces that they are ready. In a single sentence, the author tells us the babies are suddenly afraid. But they do proceed. They’ve done the work; now comes the reward. Daddy basically tells his children that they can now go anywhere; they are ready to see the world. A sort of graduation is sensed by the reader, a satisfaction that a goal has been achieved.

For the ending, Daddy wishes the baby owls good luck, but reminds them to come back soon – a gratifying and hopeful ending, because we all want our children to come back and visit after they’ve moved from home.

(*Note – I haven’t yet figured out why there is no comma in the title, and yet there is a comma following “Good Luck” on the last page. There must be a reason, but it evades me.)

The plot structure is simple, but the specific way the author has brought these characters to life with distinct voices and familiar but uniquely drawn characteristics (anxious children and loving, patient father/instructor) is one that will stay in the hearts of listeners, readers, and writers alike. The dialogue gives a personal feel to the members in this owl family, and sympathetic, practical and wholesome insights into the human condition.

Utilizing fun sounds and a bulk of dialogue when you craft your picture book will give you a good start. Having a specific dilemma and method for the characters to attain a goal will add to it. Now you just have to give your story the kind of huggable personality that the Miltons did in theirs. Good luck, Newbie Writers.

Guest Blogger Mona Vanek on Electronic Publishing in 2013

For young and new writers who write and publish –

Electronic submission requirements differ with each e-zine, but a few general rules (and some experience) will help you master writing for them. Get e-zine guides, or query the editor of an e-zine, electronically. (*see below)

If the magazine's website doesn't offer writers guidelines, find the editor's e-mail address (on the e-zine site) and send an e-mail asking for guidelines. By following them to the letter you'll learn how the editor wants your story submitted.
It often takes perseverance to locate an editor's email address, and by continuing to search you'll locate other publishing opportunities. Be sure to always check the links at the top of the home webpage first.

KidWorld is a good example. In the first column, you'll see What's New? Click 'Read the Rules'. You may find their contest is closed, but see links to e-zines that publish children's writing.
For example, I found Amazing Kids.   Be sure you're on Amazing Kids magazine site, not the Main page.

Click the tab at the top of the page to find out about contests. At Amazing Kids Main page you can find the submission email address by scrolling to the bottom, on the left side. "Submit them to us at: submissions@amazing-kids.org."
At the very bottom of the Main page, you'll also find the editor's e-mail address: Amazing Kids! Magazine inquiries – editor@amazing-kids.org.

Some editors will say what goes in bold, never to use italics, etc. Some want the story sent in the body of a regular e-mail, no italics or bold of any kind. Straight text all the way. Other magazines want the story sent as an RTF attachment to an e-mail.

Write your e-query letters and e-articles in your word processor where it's easy to edit and polish them until they're impressive. Single space your story, double space between paragraphs.

Remember that nothing on the web is underscored except a web link (URL). So those are the only things in your manuscript that should ever be underscored.

Example: 

Let the editor know you envision certain words emphasized; you can use an asterick (*) before a word. The editor will decide whether to print it bold or italic.

Generally, if it's a title, or something you want underlined, here's how I do it: _Kids Master E-Zine Writing Quickly_.

 

You can make sure the editor knows you're using italics by writing it like the following example: my laughline . Another way to indicate that is by using the HTML marks for Italics. Example: "I am thrilled to share with you what I know about writing for e-zines." (*see sidebar for more about html.)

 

If you are uncertain about how the editor wants it, send an e-mail asking how to do it; editors never mind answering those kinds of questions.

When writing your e-query, don't think like a writer; think like an editor. Make your idea fully complete. As you write your e-query, have a strong visual image in mind of the article already published.

• What is its title?
• Does it have a blurb?
• On the e-zine cover, will there be cover lines announcing its appearance inside?
• 
  Is a sidebar included at the end?

In general, readers of online e-zines tend to scan while reading so keep to your point, use short sentences, and be brief.

Follow these simple steps to get query letters and articles from the wordprocessor to the e-mail program, and not have them arrive the way you sent them, Rich T and not all scrambled.

• Open the file. Go File\SaveAs. In the drop down box that lets you choose how to save your file, select Rich Text Format (plain text or ASCII text).

• Next, highlight the entire file contents. Right mouse click and copy.

• *Before closing your wordprocessor file, use SaveAs again and select your usual file style. When it says 'this file exists shall I overwrite it?' Answer Yes. Then close your word processor.

Open  a new message in your e-mail program and paste the copy from your clipboard. (Use your mouse or press ctrl+v.)

Address it to the editor who asked to see it. Before you click Send, read it through carefully. Correct anything that needs correction.

WYSIWEG! (whatyousee is whateditorgets.)

 

Have at least a good outline of your article handy.

Faster than you can zip up your backpack, the editor might reply, asking for more information, or maybe even for the whole article if he\she thinks your proposed story or article is already written.

 

Editors are too busy to fiddle around with half baked cookies. All you'll get is a bad reputation by offering something you can't produce in a timely manner.

If your idea is only an idea, say so in your query. Say, "I propose to write [your story idea]."

If the editor is interested he may ask you to write it, and may even give you tips on what he wants in it.

Your published story will get wide exposure. Other editors may see it and contact you to write for them, too. Sometimes your online story can still be submit elsewhere. Be aware though, publishers that buy your story generally want exclusive 'rights'. Some editors won't let you send it to anyone else for 90 days, others ask for a year.

Each e-publication differs according to their editorial policy.

Writing for e-zines is fun and can be profitable, but *never, ever send off a story that you've had published to another magazine without first asking the original publisher for permission!

END

Sidebar: Go to the magazine's website online and read the magazine. Read the archived (back) issues, too. Save a few into your word processor to dissect and study. Run your grammar check and word count on them. Use Find function to search out repeated words and buzz words -- those colorful ones editors love.

To learn more about HTML marks, buy "HTML For Dummies" at any bookstore. Be sure to get the first one, not the one that says "More HTML .... "

Here are interesting sites for children's writers:

Inkspots. You'll need to set up a free account.)

Cobblestones, & Guidelines, and other good links. (Contact: editorialguidelines@cobblestonepub.com.)
 

Mona Leeson Vanek's skills in the broad field of publishing include freelance writer, profiler, news correspondent, photojournalist, writing consultant, script writer, videographer, photographer and author. A member of Internet Writing Workshop since 1996, Mona critiques a wide spectrum of non-fiction, and mentors beginning writers and colleagues. Her current work in progress is editing, revising and epublishing her out-of-print trilogy, "Behind These Mountains." In 2010, to preserve the stories of Montana's homesteader's lives, she made the three-volume series available at, http://www.behindthesemountains.com/. To make free online writing resources avail, she also published her 10th edition of "Access The World and Write Your Way To $$$," http://writersresourcesonline.blogspot.com/.

Mona, a mother, grandmother and great-grandmother, lives with her husband, Art, and their cat, Mimi. She publishes, "The North Palouse Washington e-Newscast," www.palousenewscast.com, to promote the rural Washington region where they've made their home since leaving Montana, in 2005.

(copyright 2012, Mona Vanek)

Book Review, a novel about a lively, humorous writing writer

THE GUERNSEY LITERARY AND POTATO PEEL PIE SOCIETY by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows, published by Dial Press, is high on my “Enjoyable Reads” list. In her letters to Islanders she doesn’t meet until well into the book, main character Juliet Ashton spits humor like snakes spew venom. You’ll definitely feel it for more than a minute, and her aim is always spot on.

The book is made up entirely of letters, with each writer carrying his or her own voice with flavorful precision. After a while, you don’t even need to look at the signature to know who the letter is from. Reading the first few pages, as a writer I was skeptical, thinking—there is no way anyone can string together an entire novel solely of letters and still let readers see any action, without it sounding forced. How could you sneak in those little details and quirks about a person, or show them in action, without reminding the reader they are basically only reading a second-hand account of what happened, one person repeating something they saw.

Well, what else does an author do, if not that?

I guess I thought it would be difficult to describe how somebody else said something. You know, to mention that every time they said this or that, they had a little twinkle in the eyes? But mainly, I feared a reader might suspect author intrusion too many times.

But not once did I ever feel the author intruded on any of these characters’ original voices, thoughts, or manner of speaking. And just as praises had said, I literally forgot I was reading fictional letters, because I got so lost and caught up in each character’s life, the gossip spread about, that I forgot this was a novel, entirely made up. Perhaps the wealth of historical tidbits thrown in helped make this world real to me.

Forgetting that I’m only reading does not happen to me often, because usually when I study as I go along. I try to analyze why authors make one choice over another, how they structure their sentences, create tension, describe telling details. It was impossible to do this after the first few pages into THE GUERNSEY LITERARY AND POTATO PEEL PIE SOCIETY, because I was no longer reading. I was experiencing.

I could never expect more from a book than that.

Passive Voice May Be Your Best Choice

Some writers argue against ever using passive voice, and when critiquing another's work, strike through was, is being, were on principle (with a little notation, change passive voice to active), without thought that passive may be the better way to go.

Active voice means the subject is doing the action. Passive voice is when the subject is being acted upon by the verb. True, passive verbs are widely judged as the weakest form, but there lies an exception or two with every guideline.

One exception turns up when the writer wants to put the focus on the recipient of the action, because the recipient is more important than the person or thing performing the action.

Consider: Sheila Townsmen, wife of Governor Townsmen, was brutally attacked by a stray dog last night.

In this case, the author wants to emphasize who received the action, and therefore gives the person acted upon more weight than the person or thing that performed the act. The story is not going to be about the dog, but rather about the woman, and how the act affects her. Passive voice is the correct choice for the sentence above.

Sometimes the doer of an action is unknown, which makes using passive voice the obvious choice.

Example: An original Kincaid, donated by Lucille Ball, was stolen from The Museum of Art yesterday.
The identity of the thief is unknown, so it’s obvious that what was stolen is more newsworthy than who did it; therefore, passive voice makes sense. If you change the sentence to active— Yesterday, a thief or thieves stole Lucille Ball’s donation, an original Kincaid, from the Museum of Art—puts the focus on the doer, or doers, which would change the intended slant of the story.

Another exception to the preference of active voice is when the writer is using the passive voice to parallel the passive stance of the character. Take for instance a woman who had been raped. While being examined and questioned by doctors and police, she might not be feeling too strong. At a time like that, it wouldn’t be unbelievable for her to be acted upon, and do little acting herself. 

It doesn’t happen often, but passive voice can be your friend, as long as you make a conscious decision of when and how to use it.

Can you think of any other instances where passive voice is the better choice?

 

Editor Kimberly O’Connor on “A Hop, Clip, and Jump to Writing Success—Getting Clips!” and a Free Contest!

 

Clips are copies of your published work (include only the page with your byline when attaching to a query) which prove your work has been published in a specific publication. The more clips you have from different publications, the more experienced and professional you appear. Thus, clips are $$$.

 

 

Breaking into the big bucks—$200 to $500 per story— is like saving money for an expensive item. It’s best to use a step-up-the-ladder approach.

Editors of high-paying markets rarely look at the work of unknown writers. Start building your list of published credits by sending your work to blogs and e-zines, and later to newspapers and smaller publications.

Blogs get your name out, and not just through your own site, but as a guest blogger on someone else’s. It’s a mistake to think that because blog owners seldom pay monetary rewards, that they’ll publish anything. Think again. Send only your best. Many blog owners receive numerous articles to choose from, so yours still must shine if you want to see your byline, and you do need the credit.

You may even be invited to serve as a regular contributor for a certain topic, at which point your cover letter can legitimately say, “I am a columnist for Joe Schmoe’s Coffee-time Chatter (URL). Let’s face it – it’d be a tad more impressive to state that you’re a columnist for someone else’s blog, rather than simply the author of your own. The point you’ll get across to an editor is that someone else took a chance on your work.

Your next step is to land space in a print publication. Though newspaper editors appreciate freelancers with writing credits, they are easier to break into than magazines. To get in the door, submit a letter to the editor on a timely topic you feel passionate about that will interest area readers. This is one of the easiest and fastest credits to obtain. On your next cover letter, mention your writing has appeared in “Such and Such” newspaper.

Small publications are often open to new writers. Although low or non-paying, these markets maintain standards as high as that for larger paying markets. Send your best.

Once you’ve accumulated clips from non-paying markets, you’re ready to step up a rung on the ladder to writing success. Now write a cover letter listing your experience, attach a few clips and query an editor paying $5 to $25 per story or article. Once your byline appears in a few small publications, you step up the ladder again. It’s time to submit to a market paying $50. Accumulate as many clips as your creative brain will allow.

During your climb to writing success, there may come a time another aspiring writer who has not yet been published (remember when?) requests an interview, with plans to write a profile on you. Voila!  Although you won’t be the writer for this article, it will be about you as a writer. You may use this in your clips.

The markets shelling out $100 and more per story are becoming scarce; hence, they perch at the top of the ladder. It’s a long climb, but with persistence—and good writing—you’ll get there. Remember, you need to start at step one, paid or not, to arrive at step two, then three, and so on. Pay attention to the smaller markets; they are a key to your future success.

Try the ladder approach to marketing. Before you know it, you’ll be just one clip away from the big guys.

Contest: Enter to win! Edit and/or evaluate the above article, post it in the comments below or email it to kimberlyseditingroom@gmail.com. You may win a free edit and evaluation on ten pages of your writing. As a freelance and ghost editor, Kimberly loves the red pen. Put yours to use. The best review of this article wins! Deadline: 9-14-12