My BFF is cheating on me...

This is Teddy sleeping with his toy. Notice how his arm is around the furry little thing? He's very protective, but in this photo, it's not me he's protecting. Of course, I don't think his intent was to make me jealous. It surely had more to do with a certain little three-year-old who'd been running through the house the last couple of days, claiming any toy in sight, and all attention, as hers. :-)

I enjoy this picture and the video so much that they just might work their way into one of my stories someday. How about you? Do you have any certain photographs that spark inspiration?

Happy Monday, and get writing!



7 ways to make your spouse or partner HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY!

1. Fry two chickens instead of one. If it’s Southern fried, leftovers are always welcome.

 

2. Offer up homemade soup for a side dish, even if you have to buy it from a neighbor.

3. Bake (or buy and pretend you baked) cookies once a week and tell him/her she looks great.

4. Make (or order) a true gourmet feast at least once a month.

5. Let him/her eat as you talk, and pretend you think he or she is really listening.

6. Have a dish of fudge, peanut butter cups, or anise candy in each room. Yes, the bathroom too.

7. Ask him or her what he or she would like for supper, then be sure to call the delivery service in time.

Now, which one of these have you already tried?

Have a good day and happy feeding!

Gender Issues?

Please help me out.

In anticipation of the coming season, and to prompt smiles from little grandchildren, I pulled out this placemat. (No signature on the actual art, but the back says this placemat was made in the USA, and it's copyrighted by Greenbrier/Scentex .)

At first glance, I saw both boy and girl snowmen in the picture. But then I had to ask myself how I came to that conclusion? I try not to grab onto stereotypes, but I guess we all do now and then.

So I'm asking you all. I assumed the snowman on the front of the sled was a guy. To his right and back on that hill, that one seemed to be a younger snowperson, but again a male. The one behind him, higher on the hill, that's a girl. And back to the couple on the sled – the one in the back must be the girl. And no, I did not come to this conclusion because I have any ridiculous notion that women should always follow the men.

Anyway, I had to study the picture to figure out why my assumptions were so gender specific. I hoped that I didn't assume the couple on the sled were female on the left and male on the right (front) just because the front snowman is bigger. A walk through town would prove to anyone that size doesn't matter. So I looked closer.

The snowgal on the back of the sled definitely looks more girly in the face than the one on the front. After letting my gaze ping-pong between the two snow people, I realized that the eyes are closer together on the one I assumed to be a female, and that smile is narrower. The whole head is smaller, so the face has to be smaller. But in this situation, it gives this snowperson a dainty look, whereas the wider face, and the arrogance in the upturned nose, of the front snowy being makes it look more masculine.

The same differences can't account for the snow people on the back hill, because these are far enough apart in space and placement (on this placemat--hee!) that the one I assumed to be the girl would have to be smaller just to be correct perspective-wise. So size truly doesn't make a difference or tell me an answer here.

Yet I still think the back one on the hill looks more feminine and the front one more masculine.
Before I drive myself crazy analyzing this matter, can anyone tell me why, or whether I'm right or wrong in my assumptions, and how you justify your answer?

I'm sorry, but weird little things like this tend to bother me until I come to at least an understanding, if not a solid answer.

Hope to hear from you soon!

A NEW DAY, A NEW GOAL? SERIOUSLY?

Excuse the confusion shown in my title. That's my confusion, not yours.

I do believe in having daily goals, but as of late my goals have changed. For the past week, I've had three darling grandchildren here, two-year-old twins and their four-year-old brother. That said, my daily goal is simply to survive.

I really commend myself when I get a paragraph written, revised, or even thought about during nap time. I give myself an extra pat on the back if I get through a single meal without a single spill. By anyone, including me. I mean, right now, that ranks as a miraculous feat.

Anyway, I thought I'd let you all know why I may be slow in visiting your blogs, updating mine, or even thinking bloggy thoughts. I plan to get back to a normal schedule next week. Or maybe the week after, because next week I might be busy recuperating. How young I don't feel – I don't want to count the ways.

Happy thoughts!

The Problem with Sticking to a Time-Management Plan…

Last night I made a plan to be extremely efficient and productive today. And every day, really, but I would start with today. That said, I tucked my energy into bed last night with the care of a doting mother, pulled the blanket up high and patted it tight around the edges. Had to make sure my energy was fully rested and ready to go this morning.

And sure enough, it seemed to be. Crossed the first thing off my list at 6 AM – have coffee. By 6:30 I was at the computer, answered a couple emails, then put my eyes to the first paragraph of last week’s work. That went smooth. The second paragraph wasn’t bad either. An alien must’ve come in and traded third paragraphs with me, but no problem, I said. With so much bright-eyed energy at the ready, I could stick an hour into that paragraph and not get behind schedule, or I could simply highlight it and save it for another day.

I chose the latter and checked out paragraph four.

Oops. Seems like aliens not only took over that paragraph, they inserted a few characters or words from another planet and left it as some sort of puzzle for me to decipher. That called for another coffee break.

Recharged and on to paragraph five. Good heavens.

On to paragraph six. Forget it.

On to paragraph seven. I’ll just highlight that one with paragraph six, five, four, and three.

On to paragraph eight – lately my lucky number (I won $15 at bingo last week with my last number being B8.) But the Irish gods were not with me today, because eight was actually worse than seven, which was worse than six, but honestly not quite as bad as five. And I’m not looking any further.

Time for another cup of coffee to calm my writer’s nerves.

I guess number nine must be my lucky charm this week, because paragraph nine had a little zing to it. There was a sequential order to the thought process, too. And no alien words!

I zipped along with reborn confidence, paragraphs 9, 10, and 11 hitting me like a sunny day. To my surprise, paragraph 12 practically waved at me with a pleasant greeting, and paragraph 13 put to rest all my suspicions about how nasty the number 13 could be.

Then came paragraph 14. Ugh.

Paragraph 15. Double-ugh.

Paragraph 16. Geez, seriously? What was I thinking? Too many donuts that day? Too much grease in my system, clogging any thought waves from coming out of my brain?

Paragraph 17. Thank God for coffee. Mug in hand, I answered a few more emails. Checked Facebook, “liked” a thing or two while sipping my coffee as though it were my last cup, then diligently set myself back at the computer.

Was that the noon whistle? By gosh, it’s lunchtime.

An hour later, whining to myself that so much of the day was gone already, I remembered I have a class at 1:30. Time to get ready for that––would hate to waste it by being unprepared. But first, my schedule says I was supposed to post a blog article this morning on Time Management and Productivity. But I don’t really have time to write anything unique other than to recount how my first day went on my new schedule, after lovingly tucking my energy into bed early last night so that I could conquer the world of writing today.

That’s it! Happy writing! It’s class time for me.

We made it through our last show for the year!

It was a very busy craft show, at least in the morning.

 

Here are a few

items we had displayed. The canvas paintings were taken down early due to downpour after downpour, but it was still a good show. Most other items--coffee boxes and snowman boxes-- are painted with exterior paint and sealed, so a little rainwater was no problem, plus they were under the canopy. With the landscapes hanging on the sidewall, we didn't want to chance rain sneaking down the side.  This first painting is shown without a frame, but you can see it framed on the wall a couple photos down. I guess these landscapes will give me a head start on the next show, and hopefully it won't rain.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TURNING NEGATIVES INTO POSITIVES

The simple phrase, Turn your negatives into positives, is advice most of us have heard many times, and for good reason. It’s excellent advice to use toward any goal or aspect of your life––painting, writing, snowplowing, self-esteem stuff, marriage, or parenthood.

For instance, when you drop a brush slathered in the darkest paint on your palette (think burnt umber, a deep brown), and it lands on a still wet cerulean blue canvas, don’t panic. Just tell yourself, Now I know exactly where my tall tree will be.

In another direction, if you think you’re coming up shy meeting your writing goals, try this out––I’m so glad I didn’t manage to write a single sentence today, because it’s good to let yesterday’s work simmer in my brain before I go further. I’m grateful that I’ve been blessed with willpower.

Find something good to say no matter the situation, even when you glimpse a side view of yourself in a mirror. Handle it like this: “Oh good. My stomach finally sticks out further than my rear does. My butt doesn’t look so big anymore.”

Parenting and marriage are other areas of life that little negatives like to sneak into. If they do, try these on for size: 

Oh great, my kids won’t get out of bed for school. Those sweet little darlings have given me the task of pulling the blankets off of them and screaming into their ears. It’s nice to feel needed.

Oh look, hubby left his soda cans and popcorn bowls on the coffee table again. I thought I’d have to wake up to an empty house today, but he’s managed to fill it quite well.

Sometimes you just have to fake it until you make it. Life hits us with boring, difficult, or time-sucking obligations. You might simply wake up in a crappy mood for no reason at all, and how do you get anything done like that? 

That’s when you need to trick yourself. Stroke your imagination with affirmative statements until you believe them. Trust me––it works.

If you’re at a grueling get-together, smile and act like you’re having a great time. Fake it to the max. After a while, you’ll enjoy faking it so much that your mood will actually shift and you won’t be faking anymore.

So, on those days that you wake up and it looks like a perfect day to go sailing, shopping, or riding––anything to take you away from your duties––talk to yourself: “What a wonderful day to get to work. To sweat and ache. I’m so blessed.” Then remember, fake it until you make it.

Happy day!

TEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU!

Hee! Well, not really about you, but here are ten things I hate (in no particular order) that you might relate to:

1.  Someone reminding me right before I go to bed that there is no mattress on earth––no matter how clean––that doesn’t have a few bedbugs. Talk about a sleepless night.

2.  Losing anything other than weight.

3.  Cell phone bills.

4.  Scary things. Tornadoes or strong winds that get me thinking they might turn tornado any second, or rodents within 300 yards of me––and not just the furry kind.

5.  Stepping in dog do-do. Especially barefoot.

6.   Getting behind schedule.

7.   Sitting on a hard chair with no cushion, reminding me that despite the coverage I now have, there’s still some bone in my butt.

8. A picture hanging on a wall crooked, or a rug laying crooked on the floor. I have a sister whom I suspect makes sure she’s got a few things hanging off balance before I come to visit her, just to watch me squirm.

9. Hearing stories about what’s in the hot dogs I eat.

10. Choosing what to wear to work in my home office where nobody sees me. Okay, I lied; don’t hate this one. Couldn’t think of a tenth to hate. :-)

What about you? Got any pet peeves?

What Does an Agent Really Want in a Query Letter?

I’d always thought I’d know a little about writing queries for my novel, since I’ve had some success sending out cover letters with short stories.

What was I thinking?

I visited websites with advice and rules from agents on writing this difficult life-changing little letter. Seriously, I got dizzy. I suddenly realized that I didn’t know anything. Worse, a year ago I attended a workshop on writing queries, and I still don’t feel any smarter (and yet it was an excellent investment and excellent class.).

Where to send that chunk of me that is my novel. Hmmm. With short stories, I start by researching the publishers.

1. Read their guidelines.

2. Look at titles they’ve published.

3. Get to know their tastes and something about their dislikes.

Some helpful websites are pretty blunt on what agents or publishers like and don’t like, not only mentioning genres, but also writing styles. That’s very helpful. But not all of them say what they want to see in a query other than the basics––the word count, something about the plot and characters, and a line or two about you.

Ok, so now you know everything about writing a query for your novel, right? Wrong.

Different agents offer different rules on querying your novel, such as ALWAYS put the word count in your opening paragraph, along with your title. And ALWAYS put your word count in your closing paragraph, along with your request for them to review your manuscript.

So are you clear on what to do now?

Me neither.

Often, their guidelines will specify a one or two-page query. If not, you can bet whoever’s going to read your query has a whole slew of them to breeze through, and they’ll roll their eyes if they see a lot of dense writing on two or three pages.

But if they see a nice compact little query that won’t take but a minute to read, they might give you that minute. Make it count. Naturally, the best way to make yours count is to first study some exceptional queries. Yes, back to that again. Search the web and find all kinds of contradicting advice, and then take some aspirin.

A strong hook in the first line is a given. Who would read line two if line one practically put the reader to sleep? But then what?

Then take your 60,000 to 90,000-word novel and sum it up in about 150-200 words.

“Say what?” you ask.

Yeah. Talk about learning to tighten your narrative. Maybe we should all practice writing query letters to learn about writing tight, then apply what we learn to our novels.

Those little 150 or so words in the middle paragraph should sum up your novel’s plot. You can’t really afford more words if you want to have room left for your bio, which should be very short. Still, you might need 40 words for a bio.

Now you’ve got your intro (the opening hook), the novel’s title and the word count, and a brief bio. So yes, keep that plot summation short but full. Detailed and interesting. But keep it short. This paragraph needs to sell your novel. But keep it short. This paragraph has to pull a lot of weight. But keep it short.

In your bio, restrain from arrogance, no listing of three pages of boring credits nobody is going to read. Mention only a few things about you and or your published work. If you have some writing credits, mention them. If you don’t, perhaps you belong to a critique group that you can mention. Maybe you’ve participated in it for more than three months. Five years? Good. Let the agent know. Or perhaps you are a member of specific writers’ organizations like SCBWI. Mention that. Also, list a few conferences you’ve attended.

Then there’s the little one or two-line paragraph that says your novel is ready for their review, along with a request to send them a copy. It goes something like this: Idiot Learning to Write a Query Letter is complete at 50,000 words and ready for your review. May I send you the manuscript? (Don’t include the word count if you’ve stated it in your opening paragraph.)

This request is supposed to be your last paragraph, though I’ve also read that your bio is the last paragraph. But to me it seems disjointed to put this request for representation after your bio. It seems as though it should go in the last paragraph of the part talking about your novel, not about you. So I’m not exactly sure which goes in the “last” paragraph, the bio or the request. If any of you find out, please drop me a line.

Maybe I misunderstood, and what they mean is the last paragraph before the bio.

To help or confuse you further, I want to share some specific do’s and don’ts I picked up through researching what agents want in a query letter.

A. They all seem to agree that without a strong opening hook, welcome to the slush pile.

B. One agent suggested you try opening with a question.

C. Absolutely never, ever open your query with a question. (Another agent.)

D. In your plot summary section, only tell about the plot. Do not talk about theme or what the character struggles over internally. Plot only!

E. Along with mentioning your main plot points and characters (and goals, obstacles and challenges all in those 150 words), tell something about the overall theme of the novel. Give an idea of the character’s inner self.

F. Some want the word count right in the opening paragraph and some want it in the ending paragraph (So, is that with the bio? I’m joking.).

G. Some mentioned to put the title in all caps, not in italics. The reason for this was explained. Submissions are emailed, and sometimes italics come through garbled in email (or something like that).

H. Also, consider the names of the main characters, protagonist, antagonist and other main characters. Some agents want these names in all caps in your query. Others will tell you they don’t want the characters names in all caps, because it’s distracting to the eye. (Keep in mind, this would be the case on a SHORT one-page query, because you would have the title in all caps, and then anywhere from three to five names in all caps, all one or two short little paragraphs. That’s a lot of caps.

So what’s the best advice I can give you––write a dozen different query letters and hold a contest for agents to vote on the best one. If only we could, right?

Here’s my real advice. If you are querying an agent, do a lot of research. I repeat, a lot. The agents you choose might have very specific details on their websites as far as what they expect in a query. Opening with a question or not. All caps on character names or not. Three paragraphs or four. Then be sure to research each specific agent even more. Some might have a guest article on someone else’s blog, and that article might give one detail that wasn’t mentioned on the agent’s own page. It’s worth a shot. And then write that query specific to that agent’s rules for queries, following all the sentences starting with NEVER and ALWAYS.

Afterward, write a whole new query following different rules to fit the next agent on your list.

Also, I haven’t found anyone who said don’t do this, but I did see a few articles mention that it doesn’t hurt to have a sentence that shows you did your research. Mention something from one of their articles or their website that you enjoyed or that you thought resonated with something in your novel. But be specific about it. Don’t just say that I read your website, and I think my novel is a good fit. What exactly did they say on the website that makes you think your novel would be a good fit? That’s what you need to mention.

Keep in mind, I’m not insulting any agent for giving any specific advice, even though it contradicts another agent’s advice. Each agent is giving advice he or she wants followed in the queries to him or her, not everyone else. Why would they care what you send anyone else? What I’m trying to show you is that you cannot take the advice from one agent and apply it to queries to all of them.

Here are my absolutes for querying agents. You will note that I never mentioned the obvious––NEVER send a query in a specific genre to an agent who doesn’t represent that genre. Again, do your research.

That’s the only “NEVER” I’m going to give you. Well, besides the other one––NEVER assume you can write one query and change the agent’s name and address and be done.

ALWAYS open with a strong hook.

ALWAYS do your research. Yes, this is worth repeating over and over and over again.

And that’s it. You are ready to write your twelve different queries for twelve different agents, right?

Happy writing!